Couples
I serve couples of all genders and orientations online and in my Denver, CO office.
Thriving partnerships are built on a foundation of mutual understanding and cherishing. But conflicts are unavoidable and old stories, mismatched desires, and emotional wounds can compromise even the strongest bonds.
Whether you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or hurt, or if you simply crave more aliveness and pleasure in your erotic connection, you’re not alone.
If you want change, I can help.
Together, we’ll dive into the layers of your erotic and relational health that often go unspoken. I will help you navigate emotional roadblocks and facilitate overdue repair. With a little courage and the right support, you can grow a loving relationship where emotional trust and sexual fulfillment reinforce each other.
How We’ll Work Together
Think of me as your guide and champion: I have no agenda except the one you set. I’ll apply my tools, skills, and creativity to support your unfolding, moment-to-moment and across the arc of our work.
Through Relational Life Therapy (RLT), you’ll gain clear-eyed insights into your relationship dynamics, confront and dismantle barriers to intimacy, and build deeper trust and resilience in yourself and your partner.
We’ll create a non-judgmental space to explore your ever-shifting erotic nature, shining a light on what matters to each of you and why. By weaving in the art of Somatic Sex Coaching, we’ll engage the creative energy of Eros for richer, more satisfying experiences as a couple.
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You and your partner love each other but your conflicts are explosive or non-existent. Learning the art of generative conflict is essential for deep intimacy.
You suspect bringing your grievances to a supportive environment will help you grow closer in ways you haven’t been able to get to on your own.
There are winning and losing strategies for healthy relating and learning them will strengthen your relationship and may save it.
Learn how soft-power and healthy boundaries are alternatives to righteousness and disconnection.
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Almost anything affects desire and most couples have desire discrepancies, in and out of the bedroom. We dig deep into dynamics and honor your differences to discover new ways to relate, to touch, and to engage one another.
Love and desire have competing needs, we need differentiation to sustain desire but we also need to feel connected to feel safe.
We experiment with novelty, learning how to give and receive pleasure, new ways to touch and to communicate, taking risks to more interesting territory including neo-tantric practices to enhance connection and pleasure.
Sex isn’t a thing you do, it’s a space you enter, a place you go. (Thank you Esther Perel!)
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Something needs to change but you don’t want to leave. Explore ways to reinvigorate or restructure your intimate partnership.
Learn skills to build secure attachment in your relationship, based on your attachment style.
Explore the conditions on both sides that are needed to stay together and if you decide to separate, how to leave well.
You’re at an impasse or feel stuck with a big decision and you want to build the capacity to hold steady and work to tend everybody’s needs.
Explore considerations of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and polyamory before getting yourself in the weeds.
Learn how to negotiate changing agreements in all aspects of the relationship home life, including but not limited to CNM.
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Receive support in your recovery from infidelity and other betrayal traumas through exploring root causes, the needs that were trying to get met, taking responsibility, and facing the pain caused.
We take our time to clear old hurts on all sides, beginning with the hurt partner. We slow down and take turns speaking and listening, finding true remorse while working to get to deep empathy and understanding over time.
Learn how to integrate changes that are happening and how to open to seeing your partner in a new light, as they are becoming who they are now rather than who they were.
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You have a tendency to feel ‘better-than’ or ‘worse'-than’ your partner and you can see how that compromises your availability for intimacy. Your ready to orient from ‘same-as’ and you need help getting there.
You have a sense that healthy boundaries would provide you more access to safety, leading to more desire and thriving. You’ve historically been ‘under-bounded’ or ‘over-bounded’ and you want to develop boundaries that keep you both protected and connected.
You want to learn how to better respect and honor other’s boundaries and develop communication skills that support healthy relationships.
You might come to explore:
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Your relationship with pleasure is centered around consumption – food, porn, shopping, scrolling, etc…and you want to cultivate a more life-affirming relationship with pleasure.
You’re not sure why but you resist deeply nourishing pleasure, including self-pleasure/masturbation.
You want to learn the nature of your pleasure by getting present and building a moment-to-moment relationship with your sensations with no pressure to perform.
You want to explore pleasure on your terms, where the only touch that happens is exactly what you want and nothing you don’t.
You want to learn new avenues for self-pleasure, pleasure with others, or cultivating states of expanded orgasm.
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You never received proper sex education and you want a safe place to explore your questions, and discover questions you never thought to ask.
You need help finding ways to have honest, sometimes difficult conversations with your partner about sex and so much more.
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There are a lot of ‘shoulds’ taking up space in your mind and your body and your sexual experiences don’t match the images you see in the media. You think you’re broken or weird.
You have pelvic pain or discomfort during sex and you want to find relief or a different way of having a sexual exchange that is actually pleasurable.
You have erectile issues, unintended ejaculation, or delayed ejaculation and you’d like support accepting yourself and expanding your sexual menu options and erotic map.
You have never experienced an orgasm, or it’s illusive and you want to find ways to have pleasure without an orgasm or you want to try and find or recover it.
You feel guilty about your fantasy life and your relationship with porn feels unhealthy to you because its affecting your ability to connect with your partner, to get aroused without imagery, or your compulsive behaviors negatively impact your life. You want to find your right relationship with porn so you can come into more acceptance of yourself.
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Old traumas are getting in the way of your ability to connect and you’ve heard that trauma healing happens through the body rather than the mind.
You freeze in stressful or sexual situations or you don’t have the resilience to stay when the going gets tough and you want to understand why and heal.
You need embodied somatic practices and a place to express and sequence what got stuck or shocked to make space for thriving and sexual vibrancy.
A part of you blames yourself and you need a compassionate space to see yourself and your situation more clearly.
Maybe the trauma you carry isn’t a direct assault but is a result of intergenerational or cultural imprints and you’re ready to let them go.
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Shame is a powerful, damaging force that keeps us small, conforming, and unexpressed.
Nobody is born with shame, it’s a cultural phenomenon that we pick up to ‘fit in’ with our families, religion, society, friends, school, community.
We can be shamed or we can shame ourselves for our thoughts, words, or actions, suffocating our feelings of belonging.
Shame keeps us separate, even though its trying to ‘protect us’ and we work to root out the limiting beliefs that accompany shame.
Learn to accept, fully own, and love your body, gender, and sexuality.
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I included these categories to give you a sense of what we may explore but they certainly aren’t exhaustive of all we might get up to.
As everything is related, many of these topics overlap and intertwine and we’ll co-create our work together based on your personal wishes, intentions, and goals and what emerges during our time together.
Inside our Sessions
We do more than talk. With Somatic Coaching, we slow down and attend to all of you – mind, body, heart, and soul. We dig deep to find the source of what brings you alive and uproot what gets in the way. We take appropriate emotional risks, practice new skills and engage play for discovery.
Each session is co-created around your specific needs and pace, making your active participation essential. This work is deeply practical, but it is not linear. We stay relational and make room for whatever is emerging to inform what comes next.
We focus on wholeness. I’ll support you to stay curious and open as you navigate the natural awkwardness that comes with trying something new. Over time, you’ll learn to focus more on what’s going well rather than what’s challenging, creating room for deeper connection, a richer erotic life, and a more resilient bond with yourself and others.
How You’ll benefit
Our work together will help you bring your best to your relationship and stand up for yourself with love. You’ll learn to slow down and tune into the subtleties of your body, nervous system, and needs. You’ll be better equipped honor your partner’s differences and to utilize conflict as a tool for growing intimacy. If you’re willing to do the work, it’s often possible to find your way back to love and co-create the partnership of your dreams!
What People Are Saying
Chris is truly brilliant in the space of couples work. My husband and I have worked with several therapists in the course of our relationship and our work with Chris has been in many ways the most transformative. Chris has an amazing way of holding us both in understanding and accountability. I feel the ways I am growing in myself and in my relationship with my husband.
— Michaela and Martin
With warmth, great compassion, intelligence and unparalleled perception; Chris led us through a positive transformation in our relationship and individual selves. Her methodology and tool kit is extensive and reflects many years of experience and deep knowledge. We are so grateful for the time spent working with her!